there's hope.
just hope so.
i want so many things.
i'll have to work hard towards it.
i'll prove it to them
work harder cynn!
yeap.

mum wants me to give up on him now.
after ms leong talked to her
she actually thought i would commit suicide and told my mum to take care of me.
hehh.
and yeap.
she also thinks im depressed over other things.
she also thinks im some person who introduces friends like guys to other cedarians like the twins and others.
hmmm
i got no comments.
all i can say is that.
im not that kinda person.
i've got better things in the world to do than to introduce ppl to them
hehh.
ive got my life to handle.
why should i interfere in others'?
like hello.
ive got a conscience and a life too you noe.

firstly i really hate the idea of introducing guys to friends.
if friends arent that type, i dont mind.
but ppl like THEM?
first it will be friends.
then later it will be i love him, he loves me.
then later in the end when problems arise,
the blame comes to me.
wad the heck?
im not stupid to like not realise this kind stuff you noe.
and nair thinks im the head of the twins introducing them to guys?
wad in the world?
hmm.
and just for bein seen with her and her bf, i get the fucking blame that he was introduced to her through me?
ummm.
im really lost for words.
you know wad?
maybe i should leave.
i think that's the only way we can both learn and work hard.
let's just say when we are together, things arent goin to be the same anymore.
i wanna work hard and study.
i know your life is HIM.
you can ruin your life for all i care.
i aint gonna ruin mine cause of this kind of incidents.
no way.
im leaving you.
goodbye.
apparently you are PISSED with me over that phone call.
so yeah.
all the better for you and me.
just remain like that.
at least it will be a whole lot better.
thanks for all those times we had fun and all.
but it pays too much to be happy with you.
so i'll back off before you do.



You are Envy!Wow... what a dreamer. Always wanting what you
can't have, and always dreaming of having more
then you do. It's not the worst sin, and we're
all guilty of it - but you take it to the
extreme! You are prone to depression, often
from things you can't obtain. Be a bit more
positive, you have a lot that others want too
- so don't sit there being all green! On the
positive side, you tend to be a smart person -
and can often achieve the goals you set
yourself.Congratulations on being the overall harmless, and
pretty normal one of the 7 deadly sins :)

?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by



wooo.
i like that EYE.
ring any bells?
haha
the tale of cynnthia diggin people's eyeballs out.
muahahaha.

today we danced for good news sunday.
it wasn't bad lah.
heh heh.
was so nervous lah!
but it all ended ok and nice lah.
woo.

bahh.
sighs.
gonna see baboon tmr.
hope it turns out ok in the end.
hmmm.
after that the mood'll set in.
haiys.

no carollin this year for me.
well i brought it upon myself.
nvm.
i'll pay for it this time.
but lookin on the bright side.
i get to go for da christmas dinner.
and next year.
i'll make sure i'll be able to go for carolling.
*smiles*
two more days and it'll be deepavali.
woo hoo.

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

Rainbow

?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??
brought to you by



today was the last day of school for the year.
lotsa things happenin around me
i just dunt have anythin else to say.

i was talkin to her and you got all pissed.
wad the hell?
ok.
nvm dont care about that.
why the fuck were you staring?
like ummm.
im not scared you noe?
then when i walk past you also you like
"it's all because of rachel!"
bahh it's your love of your life creatin the problems i realised.
he was the one who told her.
maybe you should ask him lah.
walau.
it's not the first time he's doin this ok!
fuck shit.
and yeap.
your loving sister told the others.
and so they got to know.
so why you wanna blame her?
*shakes head*
im really sick already lah
of all that's happening.
i dunt noe wad to do anymore.
tsk.


hehe.
ponned school today.
but the whole day i was at my gran's
aiyooo
my mum like woke me up at 6 to go there ok!
walau
might as well go school right
and you noe
we went there only to find everyone else sleepin like pigs.
aaaah
i nearly killed my mum.
then i slept there till about 10am
then i woke up
wooo.
i made murukus.
hahaha.
for deepavali.
hehe.
i'll bring some to sch tmr if i rmb.
(=

some people so angsty
some people want attention.
aiyoo.
wad's the world comin to?
tsk tsk.
heal the world, God.

Your IQ Is 90

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Below Average

i guess people change.
that's inevitable
but please.
you shouldnt have taken them.
really.
cause it may be nothin now.
but later it's just gonna kill you slowly.
deh the blame wont come to you.
your loved ones are the ones who are gonna suffer
not you.
come on babes.
which do you prefer?
fightin the fear with them
or leaving them in humiliation?
you choose.
seriously.
kids these days.
tsktsk.


church was like fun and interesting today.
ahahahaha.
it was like total chaos.
aha.
it was raining heavily since church started.
the whole church was flooded lah!
ahaha.
it was like some kinda waterfall
from the fourth floor to the first floor from the steps.
the water was pouring and pouring.
jebamani, as usual was excited like how chat chats would be.
so we all climbed up and started playin with the water.
ahaha
then we were chased down by da aunties cause they said it was current water.
ahahaha.
yeah
then jebamani fell off the steps.
wahahaha.
too overly excited lah!
extreme stories.
mad girl.
fun lah.

well now the holiday mood is sinking in finally.
cause of all da dance practices for christmas
all that talkin about christmas time.
im finally starting to get it already
carolling prac starts next week.
dreaming still.
haiys.


I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said boy you might not understand
But a long, long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I love your grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you, love me

I read those words just hours before my grandma past away
In the door way of a church
Where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my 15 years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you, love me
Between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you, love me


haha
i changed my skin!
anyway
was bored of the billabong one already.
heh heh
im not really so satisfied yet tho.
i still havent found the right one i really really like.
aiyooo
im so fickle minded
hehe.
days have been so bored.
actually i'd prefer goin to school
my holiday mood hasnt sunken in yet.
hmm
it'll take a while i guess
this year i dont feel like celebrating.
dunno why.
no spirit.
probably if there is WORLD PEACE.
ok this entry is gettin stoopider by the second.
i better stop
haha.
okie good nite world!


i was just wondering.
deepavali's coming.
and i gotta see them again.
sheesh
and it's not like we're in the happy terms we used to be anymore.

they and their "oh so perfect lives"
it just makes me sick.
blech.
*pukes*
im a bitch.
and they're not.
AHAHAHA.
anyway.
im a bitch.
so wad?
i shall just potray myself according to what you think about me.
well im sick of tryin to prove myself to ya'll
ya'll and your sickenin hypocrisy about me bein good and then bitchin after that.
yuck.

if im a slut,
then wad are you?
it doesnt make one a slut just by wearin wad? coloured contacts and hipster jeans eh?
too bad for me then if you think that way.
*smugs* narrow mindedness.
*shakes head*
and im supposed to believe your matured?
you're older than me
and i cant believe you still have fucked up immature thinkings like these still.
aha.
man that means all others who wear hipster jeans and coloured contacts are sluts?
*laughs*
ya'll and your hilarious comments.
THEN WHY THE FUCK DID THEY COME UP WITH CLOTHES LIKE THAT?
oh my.
even my father who's so disciplined about the clothes i wear has nothin to say about it.
in fact he was the one who paid for them and he was there at that point of purchase.
and you mother fuckers have SO MUCH to comment.
i really got nothin else to say.
im tired.
sick and tired of your SHIT.
just fuck da hell off my life.
oh chitrah, we're trying to help you.
fuck you.

fyi, i know how to handle my life.
i have my mother, my father to take care of me.
i dont need your sickening comments.
it's MY life.
and im happy the way it is
you bitches are no one to comment and change it.

ya'll used to be the ones i loved.
but now.
ive realised how angellic and loving ya'll are.
enough.
ive given up.
ya'll have.
so let's just leave things the way they are.
even if i gotta see ya'll
i'll just see that we'll have nothin to say to each other.
after all, we'll still be family no matter how much i dislike ya'll.
im sorry to say i cant change that fact.
but i would if i actually had a way to.
so yeah.
it'll just be the way it is.
oh.. there that's my mother's sister's daughter or son.
that'll be the only relationship we hold.
ive given up.
thanks alot guys for all those happy memories we had when we were 5 or 6.
(=


ive never been this bored in my life to blog twice.
argh.
im rotting
im dying.
someone save me.
argh....


it's all over finally.
it's just time to relax and rot.
or should i say, slack?
haha yeah.
just do it.

hmm.
actually i gotta admit this year is SUPER fast.
heh.
dunno why.
but it's actually a good thing.
next year it's da o's
that's the only bad thing
but lookin on the good site.
no more mrs.***
the biggest bitch in cedar i gotta say.
oh well.
i just want a break.
from this kinda teachers.
heh.
well.
whatever.

haha.
hmm
after deepavali, it's hari raya.
after hari raya, it's christmas.
every year i gotta wish i could go for carolling.
just hope my mum changes her mind.
*smiles*



well well.
just one more day.
and it's OVER.
haha.
amath was quite bad.
but i gotta say all those muggin really paid off.
ive never done this many sums for one actual paper.
woo.
but the sums i din noe were all those exponential shit.
hehh.
sighs.
but it's over.
no use cryin over anythin.
just waitin for da results.

please papa.
i love you.
it hurts seein you so unforgiving and cold.
it just pains me.
the least i can hope for,
is just that you'll talk to me.
i was da one in the wrong
and im sorry.
please forgive me.
i really am sorry.


i've never mugged this much.
i just hope it pays off tomorro.
*runs away to mug*


well well.
eight down.
two more to go.
papers.
sighs.
some were relatively o-k
some were just DAMN YUCK.
ahaha.
just mug more.
and it'll be all good.

people change.
well it's somethin one cant avoid.
inevitable.
hehh.
sometimes i get so pissed.
you asked for it.
and you got it
and you just never seem to learn.
i really got no comments.
you changed ever since he came into your life.
he's your life now.
nothin else.
not your studies.
not your family or friends.
nothin else.
but him.
come on girl.
you only realise who your friends are when you get shit.
hehh
im so sick of this shit.
i just wish you'll learn one day
but nono.
all you're doin is crashin my hopes.
if you're gonna persist.
all im gonna say is,
you're on your own babe.
*smiles*


mugged so hard yesterday!
wooo.
im proud of myself!
*beams*

cynnthiaChitrah
11Jan`90
Temasek Polytechnic


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